Welcome to Love or Hate, Family Matters.

Are you one of those teenagers who feel stuck in the limbo where you are neither a child nor an adult yet whatever you claim to be?  Do you also feel keeping yourself far far away from your siblings and your parents is the only way to find your true self? Whether you are ready to admit or not, your family is the most significant influence in your journey to find and establish who you are. Still not convinced? What about reading a couple of good stories on families then?

In this blog, you will find stories of families in diverse cultures and different situations as well as with  focus on various relationships in a family.

Hope you can find your favorite family stories on this blog that make you nod, smile and laugh or cry and that will help you to better undertsand the troubles, strengths and wants of families and learn to accept family as it changes.

UN International day of famlies

Since 1994 when UN announced the year as the International Year of Families, May 15 has been celebrated as the International Day of the Family. This day aims to promote the significance of families.

Family is of no doubt a steady and supporting foundation for all ages. Especially when we face difficult times, the significance of family and sticking together really matters.

If you need more information on UN international day of families, click on the link below. http://social.un.org/index/Family/InternationalObservances/InternationalDayofFamilies.aspx

The Whale Rider

Ihimaera, W. (1987). The whale rider. Auckland, N.Z. : Heinemann.

A beautiful and heart warming story of Kahu Paikea Apirana, a 12 year old Maori girl.

Even though she is the only living child of the tribe's chiefly succession, Kahu is denied to become the leader of the tribe, as she is not a male. The death of her twin brother has further complicated her relationship with grandfather Koro, as he condemns and blames her for everything that goes wrong in the tribe. So Kahu has to fight to win the love of her grandfather and her destiny as tribe leader.
When a pod of whales is stranded on the beach, Kahu can prove she is destined to be the leader of the tribe by riding the biggest whale and leading the pod safely into the sea.

A renown Maori writer, Witi Ihimaera's another tale of the Maori people. He combined past &present and myth &reality and wove a beautiful and unforgettable story.

Looking for Alibrarndi

Machetta, M. (1992). Looking for Alibrandi. Victoria, Australia; Penguin Books.

This is a story of Josephine Alibrandi, a seventeen year old, in her final year at high school. During the year, she is in a constant turmoil; she meets her father who has never known her existence, falls in love, discovers Nonna's secret and loses one of her best freind. In the end, Josie has got a more mature perspective toward her life and the world and become more assured about who she really is.

What makes this story memorable is the main character---vivacious and full of life Josephine. She is smart, passionate and never at a loss with words. However, she is in a constant state of anger with her life. She feels herself a misfit or a rebel at her prestigious private Catholic school, as she is not only on scholarship but also an illegitimate child. Even at home, she struggles with her strict mum and ever-meddling Nonna. Her Catholic upbringing and Italian family value do not go with the life of typical Australian teenagers.

A delightful story that still touches several serious issues that teenagers can face and have to overcome. Warning: There's an issue of teen depression and suicide. However, the positive closing of the story will surely chase away any gloom.

The secret between us

Delinsky, B. (2008). The secret between us. New York, NY : Doubleday.

Deborah allows Grace to drive them back home in the rain when she picks up Grace from a party. However, when their car hits a man running in the dark, Deborah sends Grace running home and decides to take responsibility for the accident on her shoulder.

This story is about how the decision brings in tension between mother and daughter and threatens their special bond.

Even though the book has been written from the perspective of Deborah and mainly explores her relationship with her parents, ex-husband and children, it can be also read from Grace's point of view.

Grace, a 16 year old, suffers because of Deborah's well-inteneded lie. In the end, she becomes more assertive and takes responsibility for the accident and by doing so, has grown up.

Chinese Cinderella

Mah, A. Y. (1999). Chinese Cinderella. London, UK : Puffin. [autobiography]

From the beginning of her life, Adeline is considered to be bad luck, as her mum died a week after she was born. She feels neglected and denied love by her father and her siblings. This situation even gets worse when her father gets remarried. The stepmother doesn't like all the children of his previous marriage, particularly Adeline.

This story is about how Adeline struggles to find her own place where she feels she belongs. She immerses herself in achieving academic success to win her father's favour. In the end, she wins a scholarship, which takes her to the UK and a new opportunity of life.

Kimchi and Calamari

Kent, R. (2007). Kimchi and calamari. New York, NY : Harper.

A humorous yet heart warming, funny yet serious story of 14 year old Joseph Calderaro who was adopted as an infant from Korea into a thoroughly Italian family.

Joseph is a happy young adult who loves his family and has no questions about who he is until he turns 14. His social studies assignment on family heritage story make him wonder about who he really is. Is he Italian like his adoptive family? Is he Korean like his birth parents? Who is Joseph?

Joseph embarks his adventure to search for his birth mother and in the end comes to terms with his unique identity.

You will enjoy this light-hearted story that tells you that families are never perfect. but we are still love each other.

The lovely bones

Sebold, A. (2002). The lovely bones. Boston, MA: Little, Brown & Company.

An moving story of Susie and her family after a tragic loss of their beloved one. 

The story is most intriguing, as it is told by 14-year-old Susie who was murdered but now from her heaven watch her family and friends grieve, suffer and even fall apart without her.

Susie follows the loves of her family and friends as they struggle to cope with the devastation they are left with after her murder. Her father is consumed with guilt at having failed to save her. Her mother drifts away from her husband.In watching her family on Earth and recounts the memories she had before, Susie comes to understand the life she and her family are robbed of.

How to build a house

Reinhardt, D. (2008). How to build a house. New York, NY : Wendy Lamb Books.

Harper is in flight.

She badly needs a fresh start from emotional devastation brought upon by her father's divorce from her stepmother, Jane, the only mum she has ever known and consequently by her loss of Tess, her step-sister. She decides to escape by joining a volunteering programme to build a house for a family in Tenesseee who lost their home in a tornado. While she is helping a family to pick up pieces of their life after a tornado and move on forwards, Harper also comes to terms with her father's divorce and its consequent emotional devastation.

What makes me interested is the structure of the story. It is broken down into smaller parts referred to here and home, following Harper's stream of consciousness.  

My Sister's Keeper

Picouldt, J. (2004). My sister's keeper. New York,NY : Atria Books.

A thought provoking story of 13-year-old Anna.

Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for Kate, her older sister. Since she was born, Anna has undergone through countless surgeries and transfusions to keep Kate alive. She has never questioned about her life and her role in her family as her sister's keeper until she makes a decision that will tear her family apart and most likely lose her beloved sister. She sues her parents to get medical emancipation when she is expected to donate a kidney to Kate.

A very engaging story with a suprise ending.

If you want to know about the author's thoughts on My Sister's Keeper, click to this link.
http://www.jodipicoult.com/my-sisters-keeper.html

Our Secret, Siri Aang

Kessler, Crisitina. (2004) Our secret, Siri Aang. New York, NY : Philomel Books.

A story of a courageous twelve year old Masai girl. Namelock, who  comes to have many secrets that she cannot tell anyone.

She comes across a mother black rhino in labour and helps her to give birth. She vows to protect them and visit them as often as possible and keep them secret.

She starts to bleed but she keeps it secret too until it is noticed by her mum.

She wishes to go to school and learn to wirte her own name and how to do maths.

Once she decides she will go through her initiation and accepts the traditional way of life as a Masai girl/woman, she wants to vist and say good bye to the rhinos, only to find the mother rhino was killed by poachers. To keep her vows to them and also want to find Siri Aang, Namelock starts her journey to the bush to search for the poachers and bring justice to them, which leads her to a horrifying discovery that could completely shatter her foundation.

You can find the author Cristina Kessler's Behind the Books video and listen to her about how the book was written on this link. http://www.cristinakessler.com/Books_7.htm

Along for the ride

Dessen, S. (2009). Along for the ride. New York, NY: Viking.

This is a story of Auden who visits her father's new family before she starts university, make friends with local girls and boys and falls in love with Eli, a boy who has to overcome the traumatic loss of his best friend.

While she is challenged by new friends, conflicts between her father and step-mum and new responsibilities of being a big sister to Thisbe, she comes to realise what she has missed so far: to have a care-free childhood. With the help of Maggie and Eli, she can face the challenges and finally feel more assured about who she is and who she would like to be in her relationship with her parents and the others.

Through the main characater Auden, a sensitive girl who has pre-matured before her age, due to her immature and self-centred parents and their unhappy marriage and divorce, Dessen makes us think about the role of parents, the importance of happy childhood, lost opportunities, etc.

Sarah Dessen is a well renowned, prolific writer of YA novels. You can find more information on her and her books on her blog  http://sarahdessen.com/blog/ .